comparison of pictures before and after being drained

I am pointing to the spot that began bleeding (9 days post op)

9 days post op extreme swelling and open wound bleeding black blood

This is 2 weeks post op, notice the discoloration around incision and my extreme swelling, the bandage is covering where the black blood began bleeding 6 days prior

This picture below was taken the SAME DAY as the previous picture!

If you look closely you can see the penrose drain, it's about in the center of my incision.

Close up of penrose drain

Was having trouble adding pictures over the last few days. Finally figured out how to get them back on.  Anyway, I get the drain removed Tuesday (HOPEFULLY) and should be good to go from that point on =)  feeling really good today and yesterday.  Things are looking up! Dare I say I'm through the worst?! 

2 weeks post op check up.... A MUST READ!!!

****ATTENTION*** to everyone reading this blog.... DON'T WAIT TO CALL YOUR DOCTOR.  I began bleeding 6 days ago and called my doctor the next day when it hadn't stopped. He told me to hold pressure and call if I have any problems. Well, it bled for 6 days and I was too stubborn to call and too scared because I didn't want to be stuck with needles or have stitches..... BIG MISTAKE!  I had a hematoma under my skin. Not life threatening in the clot sense because it was held in the skin and old black blood but WOW, he drained soooo much from me!!!!!  I'm no longer swollen but I'm far from comfortable.... here's how things went down (to the best of my knowledge because I had my eyes closed):

Mark & I get into Dr. Bradley's office and he undresses the wound dressings and sees the bleeding and begins massaging the area above the incision as I did to get the blood out. He then cuts the previous sutures and holds open the wound about an inch by spreading it with the scissors and starts massaging out the hematoma.


Dr. Bradley was pretty pissed I didn't call him right away like he told me to, but I just honestly thought it would go away... fail!  He said I had about 50cc of old blood come out-- Mark said it was 5 times that amount =/  not as bad as what it seemed being me but still a large amount.  He explained that the hematoma was formed in some sort of open cavity allowing blood to form between the skin and fat.  He also said it was the first time he'd ever seen it happen- go figure, I'm the one it has to happen to haha I just have the best of luck!  Anyway, he was impressed I didn't have any infection seeing as it had been an open wound for 6 days but truly I washed it with antibacterial soap and when changing gauze, used hydrogen peroxide. 
Once the old blood had been expelled, the doctor inserted a penrose drain (very similar to a straw) about 4 inches in by my belly button and sticks out about 1/2 inch.  It has no holes in it like typical abdominal drains but it's DEFINITELY doing it's job because I had to change the pad about an hour after my appoinment. Dr. Bradley stitched the hose to the wound and I was sent home to rest and relax this wonderful Memorial Day weekend.
The obvious possibilities of all the things that could have happened (and God bless me, didn't) would have been life threatening and I just ignored all of the signs.  The chest pain I had where I couldn't sleep last night?  Gone. I finally feel really comfortable with the outcome of this body lift. I was sooooo swollen and uncomfortable but I bet I've already lost a full pants size. And remember how I was complaining about how I used to be able to see my pelvic bone but now I couldn't?  Well, now I can see it.  I look freak'n SKINNY!  I'm not out of the woods yet... I have a drain until Tuesday but I think the real recovery will begin then.
Weird thing I just noticed, I can feel the blood moving around by the hose. It's a tickly feeling and then it's just gone. It keeps happening lol weirddddd.  Well, I bet I'll sleep MUCH better tonight! 

2 weeks post op

I never did fall asleep last night. Literally stayed awake until the sun came up this morning =/  Pretty sure I'm having an anxiety attack and chest pain is stemming from that.  Trying to add pictures but the picture uploader is not working so I'll add them later if possible. 3 hours until dr appt. can't wait!!

Roller coasters are fun, but...

Enough is enough!!!  Need I say again I am so tired of feeling like crap?! It's 1:15 a.m. and I can't sleep =(  Beginning somewhere around 3 p.m. this afternoon I started having chest pains. They have only gotten worse. Ibuprofen does nothing. I'm not sure if it's an anxiety attack or what?  I feel bursts of freezing pain running through around my left breast. The breast is irregular looking and painfully swollen. I've been massaging them like I was told to do but nothing helps, I'm in so much pain!!  It is a God-send I'm seeing Dr. Bradley tomorrow because otherwise I'd be on my way to the E.R. I've never felt anything this terrible before!

lucky 13.............. (days post op)

Geez, I was a wreck last night. After having a talk (cry) with my husband, I'm finally feeling a little better.  I vented all of my frustrations and told him I'm just not strong enough to handle everything I'm going through right now and I'm SOOOO tired and frustrated with all of it.  He calmed me down and made me feel better about the way I look and told me his side of things. It was good to talk... I was dreading it but I feel a bazillion times better =)
The one thing that you can't learn from any blog, doctor or internet site regarding recovery is how you are going to feel emotionally after your surgery.  The surgery blues are probably pretty common, in fact I even read about many women feeling depressed after their procedure because of their new look but I had NO idea I'd be one of them. I consider myself strong, I'm not much of a crier but it hit me hard.  The things on my mind I pretty much blatently stated in my last post but to sum it up, I want to be done feeling like an 80 year old =/  I'm hunched over, tired, in pain, have sores that won't stop bleeding, can't sleep comfortably, feel ugly and am sooooo frustrated.
And today, when my wound was still bleeding and then one next to it opened up and started pouring out blackish looking blood I just decided, screw it!  I put some gauze pads on, taped myself up, put on my abdominal binder and have been going about my day.  I've been on the couch as much as possible and am feeling pretty good. The gauze pads haven't filled up yet and I'm trying to stay optimistic but we'll see.
Dr. Bradley told me to keep pressure on it and let it heal itself, I've tried this several times, once even stayed on the couch for 3 hours to let it clot and scab up and as soon as I stood, blood started spilling out so gauze pads are the way to go.  I'm assuming he'll want to put in a couple stitches at my appointment tomorrow =/  lame. I am slightly upset that I didn't have the drains, once again, because I don't think the blood would be pouring like it is. I assume the reason it hasn't stopped is because I was so swollen and the fluid found a spot to get out and isn't taking any chances haha my body wants it out!  Oh well, eventually this will all be in the past and I'll read these posts and be thankful that it's over with and feel much stronger for making it through =)

getting worse...

so this bleeding spot hasn't stopped bleeding =(  my lovely husband hasn't helped me at ALL today with the kids so it just keeps reopening and gushing blood. I finally had to cover it with 4 gauze pads that were folded in half- so 8 layers of gauze and I'm STILL bleeding through it! Then Mark leaves for work and the kids are a handful, I'm trying to cook dinner, vacuum the floor (because he didn't for 3 days of me asking him to) and I just UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  AM SO FRUSTRATED!!!!!!!!!!!

I WANT TO SLEEP A FULL NIGHT'S SLEEP

I WANT TO QUIT BLEEDING

I WANT TO STAND UP STRAIGHT

I WANT MY HUSBAND TO TELL ME I'M BEAUTIFUL LIKE HE USED TO =(

I WANT TO QUIT FEELING LIKE I'M GOING TO CRY EVERY 5 SECONDS!!!!!!!!!!

I AM IN SOOOOOO MUCH PAIN!!!!!!! And the ironic thing is the pain isn't from my incisions or the stretched skin, it's my BACK from being hunched over every time I stand up and for being so swollen it hurts to move =..(  

I did SO good the first week. I took this surgery like a champ. But now I'm falling apart. I'm a wreck. My husband makes me cry literally every day because he yells at me for "this surgery being too much for him".... ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?! Too much for him!?!!?  OMG!!!

If you are reading this and planning for your surgery and if you have a husband that thinks paying the bills is his full contribution to the family then I warn you now GET HELP. I have NO ONE. My family is a big pile of horse manure. It took my mom 6 days after my surgery to text "How are you?"  MY MOM!!! Are you kidding me?!?!?!  Mark's family has been more helpful than he has been but it's still not enough.  This surgery is a big deal and you either need to have someone with you that will be a positive, supportive nurse or have NO ONE.

If I was alone, with no one to care for, I'd be GREAT. But instead, I'm taking care of a ten month old baby and a 3 year old. The baby cries and Mark looks at me like "you got her?" And I feel so guilty because this was an elective surgery that I actually get up like a damn idiot and lift her and bend over to change her diaper and everything. It's all so much. It hurts so bad to bend over, my back is killing me!

And the worst part, I was feeling so much better when I could wear my abdominal binder, but with this open gushing wound I can't wear it. My back was ok, my swelling was down and I felt really good but now it's like I'm going through Hell. One day it'll get better, I keep thinking that, but I'm 12 days out and it feels like I just got off the operating table =(  pray for me.

Just when I think things are going good..... =(

11 days out and I just bust a pretty big area open... I'm so bummed!  I took it easy all weekend, wore my abdominal binder and my swelling has gone down imensely.  I was beginning to feel great!  Even yesterday I had a very relaxing day, my husband yelled at me everytime I stood up to do anything other than potty. I was spoiled =) 

Today I sat down on the floor with the kids and played and even though I tried not to stretch or reach, I must have done something because my abdominal garment was filled with blood when I took it off to wash it and blood was leaking down my legs.  My husband helped me remove the paper tape I had on and clean it up but if I stand up at all it begin bleeding again =(  This happened about 3 hours ago and it hasn't stopped so I'll be calling Dr. Bradley in the morning if this is the case.....

Things I've learned:

The Do's:

• Listen to your doctor!!! Write down everything he says if you have to but LISTEN TO HIM/HER.  They have been through this, know what is best for you and are trying their best to see you have the best results possible.
• Be patient!  I have thought I could simply do everything because the pain meds numbed me from feeling the pain I was putting my body through. Body lifts are MAJOR surgery and you have to give yourself a break.  I've given myself insane amounts of swelling and bust open two areas of the stitching trying to do things I know I shouldn't. 
• Keep it simple! Keep the incision area uncovered, with no gauze, tape, dressings, anything- for the first three weeks you should clean it twice daily with hydrogen peroxide, and that is it. Be patient and trust me, you want the wound to dry up, scab over and HEAL.
• Wash with antibacterial soap.
• Have laxatives ready day 1.  It is almost unbearable the first few days. I took my first laxative 24 hours after surgery and didn't have my first bowel movement until 36 hours after surgery. Since then, I pretty much have to take them daily or I won't go and I get uncomfortably gassy and bloated. It's gross but true. They don't cause any discomfort and you'll feel much lighter and better. I take mine late at night, right before bed (about 2 hours after eating) as to still get all the nutrition from the foods you are eating.
• Eat a high protein, high vitamin diet. Foods I've learned to love the last 11 days: string cheese, yogurt, tuna, grapes, pineapple, bananas, carrots, celery, chicken breast, salmon, broccoli, oranges...etc. This is about all I've been eating, keeping my calories right around 1500.  I also drink a Jillian Michaels chocolate powder whey protein shake once daily.
• Low sodium!  It SUCKS and it sucks BAD but I haven't allowed myself the pleasure of any high sodium foods, mainly due to all of the swelling.  But overall, it's best to avoid anything that makes you feel bloated or puffy during this time.
• Drink as much water as you can, staying hydrated will help with the swelling and will aid in healing. If you hate water or just can't drink enough, try crystal light lemonade or fruit punch.

The don'ts: 

• Do NOT put neosporin over the wound site.
• Do NOT put paper tape over the scar until it actually is a scar and the incision is 100% healed (this generally takes about 3 weeks).
• Don't get depressed about your look or the fact that you had surgery. I have read that so many people regret it the first few days.... well, I'll agree the pain sucks, the lack of activity sucks and wondering if everything is going to turn out looking good is the WORST but try to keep your mind on recovering and stay happy.
• Do NOT be afraid to call your doctor. I have Dr. Bradley's cell number and luckily I've only had to call it twice =) 
• Do not believe everything you read online... lol  I have researched and read everything I could find on body lift surgery and breast lifts and honestly I think I would be further along in my recovery had I not tried the neosporin or paper tape =/  Just do what YOUR doctor says... not everyone else!
• Do not miss any doses of your medication- it is there for your relief, not to see if you're strong enough to handle recovery without it.  I finished my percocet and was relieved that ibuprofen was enough to handle the pain. Too bad it adds to the constant bleeding I have going on right now =/
• Do NOT lift anything over 5 pounds for 2 weeks. My daughter is 15lbs and everytime I have tried to pick her up in the last couple of hours, I start bleeding again.
• Do not freak out when you bust a stitch (like I just did!), Dr. Bradley said it's common and all you need to do is wet a washcloth/paper towel and apply pressure for 5 minutes. Try to not move for as long as possible as to not reopen the wound but it should heal and stop bleeding on it's own. Soooo... that's what I'm going to go off and do now =)

Dr. Bradley orders: MORE REST!

I am 8 days post op now and the swelling is out of control!  Even my husband said I look 6 months pregnant =/  I went to see Dr. Bradley yesterday & he said that I could wear an abdominal binder or a compression garment for comfort but overall, the only thing that will help the swelling is to get off my damn feet and REST =) 

So, guess who gut up with the kiddos this morning?  My dear husband <3   I felt guilty after a week of him baby-ing me, so I started trying to help cook and clean Thursday & Friday which ultimately led to the previous swelling I had to get so bad I was scared I was going to bust stitches.  I went through some pretty intense operations so I'm going to relax from this point on, only get up when I must and not lift ANYTHING.  It's so like me to help others but this time, I'm helping myself =)

8 days post op and recovery is coming along nicely...

Dr. Bradley did SOOOOO good on my belly button!  I couldn't be happier with how it turned out =)  It's still really swollen but it looks more natural than so many I've seen!

Day 6 post op

The swelling got SO bad yesterday that I ended up calling Dr. Bradley's office & discussing with Mary Anne (his receptionist) about what I could do.  She explained that Dr. Bradley didn't give me a compression garment because I didn't have the drains and shouldn't need one =/  She did say she'd call him and he'd probably contact me this morning but either way I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon so I'll figure it out then.

I got desperate and put on one of my Spanx body fitters that I used to wear prior to surgery to suck up all that skin of mine =)  I felt GREAT!!!  I think it helped a lot with my back and being able to stand up straight.  After about 2 hours I took it off because I didn't want to do any damage but I'm definitely going to wear it again today because this swelling is EXTREME. I don't eat any high sodium foods and I've been drinking as much water as I can handle but nothing is helping.

Yesterday I was able to handle doing 2 loads of laundry, dishes, cooking, showering and dressing by myself.  I'm starting to get the hang of mobility and feeling much better moving around.  

Best part of today:  ANNA IS COMING HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!   I miss my baby girl so much!!! I haven't seen her for a whole week =( =( =(  she's my little sugar booger lol  My husband's BFF and his wife have watched her this week and are doing great... but they say she cries a lot when they leave the room or stand to do anything.  She's just scared because she hasn't been with her mommy in so long =(  I can't stop thinking about seeing her face when I first get to see her!  Last night I started crying when talking to Mark about how much I missed her.  It's so sad... she doesn't deserve to be gone from her home... I feel so guilty =/ 

Hello... and welcome to SWELL HELL!

My doctor explained everything would smooth out but I'm kind of getting nervous now =/    As of today, I am 5 days post op.  Pain is still manageable, I'm able to eat a little more without feeling sick and my headache has finally gone away.  I'm still tired and take 2 naps a day and sleep 10 hours at night.  This will change as of tomorrow because Ms. Anna is coming home!!!!!  I can't wait to see my little baby girl!!!! I miss her sooooooooooooooo much =(  I don't know if I'll be able to quit squeezing her and kissing her when I see her!

So, now the fun part.... PICTURES!!!

WARNING------WARNING-----WARNING-----WARNING

DO NOT SCROLL DOWN ANY FURTHER

IF YOU ARE WEAK OF STOMACH!

I did the big "no-no" and weighed myself today out of pure curiosity and WOW I have gained 12lbs since the day I went into surgery. Ha, doctor said he removed approximately 15lbs of skin.... so, let's do the math... 140-15=125... 152-125=27.  This means I hypothetically am retaining about 27lbs of fluids... all in my abdomen!  For the first time since the surgery, I wish I had the drains!  

3 day post op video

Here is the link to my video on youtube:  http://youtu.be/VVTmXNmnXv8  I'll be making more & more videos as time goes by so you can see how the incision heals & scar fades =)

I went in yesterday for my post-op appointment and OMG, nearly passed out!  First off, I took my percocet at 2pm, and am supposed to take it every 4 hours.  My appointment was to be at 5, so I figured I'd be home in time to take it at 6.  Dr. Bradley was with a consult so I didn't even get in his office until about 5:45pm =(  I wasn't upset, I understand a busy doctor, but I was starting to feel the pain.

He first removed the breast bandages and WOW, that was gross lol  I started bleeding from a couple spots where the blood had dried to the gauze and pulled.  It wasn't painful until he started touching around the implant and then ouch!  It felt like he was poking on bad bruises =(  I started feeling faint right away and told him this so he and my husband helped me to lie down on the table with my knees bent.

He then started pulling off the bandages around my waist and I about died.  SO painful and considering all the pain medication had completely worn off at this point, I was beyond terrified.  He got some peroxide out and dabbed at the areas around the incision.  This wasn't painful but very weird because the skin felt rock hard.  I am so swolen so everything looks twisted and bumpy still =(  I know it'll smooth out once the swelling goes down but I wasn't too thrilled with seeing the nightmare sitting across my waist. 

He then touched up the back, reapplied gauze and tape and told me I can shower tomorrow and continue cleaning the wounds twice daily with peroxide.  Not sure how I'm going to handle this because blood really makes me sick but we'll see =) 

I got home, took 2 percocet, ate dinner and crashed.  I slept from 9pm until 6am.  Some much needed sleep!!!  My daughter is coming home in 2 days =) =) =)  I miss her SOOOOO much!  Today's plan is to relax as much as possible and to attempt cleaning these wounds =/  The tightest part of my stomach is right around my belly button (which by the way LOOKS GREAT!).... day 4 of recovery and I'm not quite out of the woods yet.

Surgery & recovery... day 3 post op body lift and mastopexy

I got to the facility at 5:40 a.m., surgery was scheduled for 6:30 a.m.  Dr. Bradley arrived shortly after my husband and I and let us is to start doing the markings.  It took about 40 minutes to mark the incision lines, take pictures and discuss recovery.

After he was done, the anesthesiologist came in and asked me a few questions regarding my health history.  I told her I was terrified of having anesthesia done and this was my first time and she said she would give me something to calm me down. I followed her into the O.R. and the last thing I remember was her saying, "Here is that medicine to calm you."  LOL  she totally snuck in and knocked me out.  I should have seen that one coming =)  At least I didn't have to worry about going under anymore, though! I'm glad it went that way!

The first thing I remember when waking up was being freezing cold and seeing huge boobs!  I asked for my husband and told the nurses I was freezing.  Then I felt back pain and chest pain.  Quickly they got me a demerol shot and heating blankets.  After a few minutes I felt great =)

Through the next hour I was talking with nurses about my pain and talking to the doctor.  He told me he was proud, the surgery went perfect, I didn't have drains and my chest looked great.  I was excited!!  My pain had subsided so with Mark and the nurses at my side, I got out to the car.  I slept pretty much the entire way home, just waking up when my husband would accelerate or brake too hard. 

At home I came in and sat down at my "recovery station" and slept pretty much 20min intervals.  I would pass out, then wake up because I had to pee or would be asking Mark questions about the surgery. Then I'd pass out and 20min later wake up and do the same thing.  I was home by 3pm and this up and down lasted until the following day; Mark had to be exhausted!!  I didn't have much pain, just a lot of tightness and pressure.  The pain meds (percocet and stadol) helped to keep me comfortable, obviously, but overall not too bad. 

The first night, the pain meds seriously affected me though.  I had this illusion that I woke up and was next to my ceiling fan, like floating in the air.  I then dropped down into my body when trying to focus.  It was soooo real, kinda creeped me out!

During my up & down craziness, I ended up doing too much and caused myself to bleed through the pads.  We called Dr. Bradley and he said to wait and see if it stops on it's own, which it did so no biggie.  I did realize that at that point I needed to chill out and just rest.  Mark went and picked up our son so that he could be at home with us since I was doing a little better and he has been so helpful =)  he is 3 now and just the cutest thing!  Our daughter (who is 10 months old) is with friends and will be until Thursday =( I miss her.

The worst part of Saturday night was that I hadn't pooped yet!  It is the most uncomfortable feeling to be extremely bloated and having no release!  Sunday afternoon I was finally able to go, thank God!  So, here I am on day 3, still in some pain and definitely ready to start standing up straighter =)  I have my first post-op appointment this afternoon and hopefully will get some of this bandaging off.

Day 2 post op...

little too drugged up to write much, but here are some pictures... starting with day of surgery to one day post op =)

 

recovery is exhausting... I'm lucky to have such an amazing husband who is answering to every silly need I have.  Ironically enough, the worst part is that I can't poop! My stomach hurts and I feel nauseous, and just wish I could go! 

Much longer story to come, but I don't have drains, any external stitches and the dr was able to do the peri-areolar incision and lift my breasts enough.  Right side has 450cc high profile silicone and left has 550cc.  Surgery was 6 hours and I'm almost 48 hours post op now.  Back to bed =)

 

HOLY bowel prep!!!!

Ok, WARNING ----  TOO MUCH INFO begins now:

Seriously, weak of stomach, TURN AWAY....

This bowel prep is INSANE!  Dr. Bradley wasn't going to make me do one since I'm not having liposuction or the muscle tightening but at my pre-op appointment, informed me he had changed his mind.  SOOOOO here I am, unable to get off the toilet.

I began at 6:30 a.m. and I have to drink 8oz every 10 minutes for 4 hours.  The drink is like a thick (almost like vegetable oil thick) salty lemon... and it's HORRIBLE.  The devil made this brew LOL  Everything was going great until about 7:30 a.m. when I rushed to the bathroom, and felt my guts fall out of me.  Really, I don't have that much cramping or discomfort, but when you gotta go, YOU MUST GO! there is NO control.

As of now, I'm about half way through the bottle and my poop is pretty much clear.  I don't know how I'm going to survive the next two hours!!!  Oh, and you can't eat anything 8 hours prior or 2 hours after =(  I'm so hungry! 

Well, back to the bathroom I go =/

4 days!!!

I am so excited! It seems like yesterday I was posting 34 days... and now just 4!

Yesterday was Mother's Day =)  Mark was amazing, he waited on me all day lol  I got to relax, tan, barbeque, have a couple drinks, and eat like a cow.  Tomorrow I get to start my low residue diet and bowel prep. FUN FUN! I'm going to call Dr. Bradley's office and check if I can have anything more than just liquids but I'm pretty sure that'll be a big N-O   =/

Worry free!

My biggest fear jumping into this surgery is GUILT.  This 5 letter word can really bring a girl down!!  I have felt guilty about the money, it could be used to buy us a camper or a boat... kid's college education.... mustang 5.0?! Then, I worry about the people that are taking care of me and the kids; I hate to be a burden on anyone =/  I have been a pain in the bum lately because of all of this guilt which makes me feel even guiltier!  I am a bonified stress eater and this past week have just not cared, which adds to my guilt because I worked so hard to get to this point in my life and now that surgery is just days away, I don't care?! What the HECK is going on with me?!!? ahhhhhh

So why is this titled "worry free"?  Because I am DONE worrying =)  I don't care. I want to be happy and if all that takes is letting go of every crazy thought, then I'm okay with that.  Maybe this means I've finally accepted my psychotic tendencies?! LOL  Lying in bed last night I started asking my husband if he would still be happy with me if my surgery didn't turn out right.  He looked at me like I was an idiot.... "duh, babe, you're beautiful in more ways than your body."  aweeeeeee... he stumbles upon the right things to say sometimes and this time, he really hit the head on the nail!  I love him and care about him so much and I am probably the luckiest girl in the world!  No, I didn't win the lottery or inherit millions but I found the most amazing man and we made the most amazing little family and life together =)

Ok, enough mush.  So, I'm done stressing; I'm going into this surgery with a smile on my face, having God and Mark at my back.  My surgeon knows what he's doing and seems to really care about his patients outcome.  He has been doing this over 13 years and from the pictures in his office, he's not a Hollywood doctor. What I mean by this is, I'm going to look natural versus too large on top and too small at the waist =)  I just want him to put humpty dumpty back together again (minus a few pounds of flesh) eww.

I have prepared my little "station" where my recovery will take place. Anna is going to stay with my best friend, Marky with Great Grandma and I should have some help here at the house.  It's a good thing I planned this for a Friday so that I could have the worst during the weekend and then a (hopefully) relaxing week.

I have worried about everything from passing out while he's drawing incision lines, not waking up, waking up to deformed looking breasts and choppy incision on body lift, PAIN, infection, drains, etc etc etc and that's enough! No more worrying! It is what it is and no matter how much I worry and stress, it's not going to change the fact that on May 13 at 6 a.m. I am walking into that office and going through with some serious cosmetic surgery. Wish me luck =)

12 days....

My best friend is married!!  =)  I am so happy for her to beginning her life with her amazing husband, Jason!  Now that the wedding is over, no more drinking or bad eating until surgery.... must get this body in check so I'm as prepared for it as I can be.

I'm more and more nervous as the days come and go but there is no way I am going to turn back.  Surgery is a definite!